I woke up this morning from one of those paranoid dreams I have where someone is pursuing me relentlessly for the rest of my life, all over the world, and I can’t get away even though I take firearms training and kill some of my pursuers. When I was finally able to say to myself, “You are dreaming,” I began thinking about where I have actually been, because there’s nothing like a paranoid dream to make you wonder if your passport is up to date.
Places I’ve been:
Countries: Austria, Bulgaria, Canada, Croatia, England, France, Germany, Holland, Hungary, Italy, Mexico, New Zealand, Russia, Scotland, Slovenia.
States: California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Washington, Washington, D.C., West Virginia.
My first trip out of the country was to England and Scotland, with my grandmother and my cousin John, when I was 12; we met up with my aunt and her three daughters in France. My last trip was to France to visit my brother; it was wonderful, and everything I hoped.
Why I went:
Most of those countries and states were the sites of fencing competitions, so my visits were brief and usually in some slightly neglected city that happens to have a small stadium, off season, for cheap. Others were for various and sundry educational conferences. I actually lived in Connecticut, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. I was a tourist in England, France, Germany, Mexico, Scotland, and New Zealand (well, New Zealand was for a conference, but I went a week early and took a nice bus tour provided by the organizers).
I skipped world competitions in Australia and Egypt because they always scheduled Over-50 World Championships at the beginning of the school year, and I was a teacher. Australia was too far, and I wasn’t interested in Egypt. My last World Championships was in Croatia, two weeks after my husband died, because I had tickets and so did my coach, so what the heck. Some people thought I should have skipped it. I don’t regret going, because I won gold for the fourth time, and also it was one of my favorite countries.
Countries I loved:
England. Croatia. France, sometimes. One day of my Italy trip (I managed to leave the fencing venue and go to Florence for the day. It was glorious.)
Countries I didn’t like at all:
Bulgaria, for reasons. I bet there are nice bits to Bulgaria. I wasn’t in one of them. Also, the airline lost my fencing bag, so I didn’t have clothes or sabres (I packed my fencing uniform, mask, wires, and shoes carry-on because these things happen).
Languages I speak:
English, as a native speaker. French, poorly. German, vestigially. It was not necessary to speak the language in any of the countries I visited.
Where I’m planning to go:
Nowhere.
I’ve been to most of the places I really wanted to visit.
Well, in 2030, I plan to go to St. Louis for a convention, if I’m upright, and I go to New York City once a month just to walk around. Oh, yeah, and I’m thinking of going to Baltimore, on the train, and maybe Washington. Mostly, I just don’t like traveling any more, because planes absolutely devour fuel and are prime disease vectors. Also, I gave up my car.
If someone decides to pursue me relentlessly, they will find me pretty quickly. Not just because I don’t travel, but also because I don’t run any more if I can help it. My adult kid just texted me to warn me about black ice outside. I’m gonna walk like a penguin today.
My passport is up to date, for the record, but only just. I have to renew it soon, even though I’m not going anywhere.