The last few books I bought didn’t work out for me, so I have gone back to taking books out of the library. I have now read two true crime books, because that’s what appealed to me in the popular nonfiction section. 

One was about Munchausen by proxy (making your children terribly ill, in order to get attention for yourself), and the other was about expert testimony in court (in cases of sexual assault and serial murder). Both books were assertive, full of terrible and fascinating details, and perplexing. I don’t mean they were confusing. No, they were pretty clear. But I just don’t understand how someone can do these things. 

I intellectually understand why survivors of assault and attack tend not to come forward, though. A lot of times, people are hesitant to complain about predators, because they’re sure people will think they’re just being dramatic, or because they fear shame.

Sometimes we find out who we are by what we do, and based on my actions in the past, I’d apparently rather be considered dramatic and shameless than let anyone control me. I’m not easy to control. 

I suppose I would be one of the dead victims, in that case.

I’m not reading any more true crime books.