Just now, Google Calendar informed me that I have to go to the audiologist, and also that I should visit my husband’s grave. It decided all on its own that I needed to be reminded. Never mind that if I want to be reminded of anything by Google Calendar, I set a notification myself when I write the entry in the first place. Never mind that Google Calendar notified me several hours after the audiologist appointment actually happened. Never mind that I visited my husband’s grave a week ago today, and don’t plan to go back for at least a month. 

Never mind that the whole thing is really creepy. 

Of course there was no thinking involved at all. The reminder was merely a statistical simulacrum of thinking, a calculation of the most probable strings of text that would appear in a reminder, based on all the Google calendars of all the people in the world, none of whom are likely to ever want to visit my husband’s grave.

Which makes it even creepier.

I have already been to the audiologist (today), and I have already visited my husband’s grave (last week), so therefore some predictive algorithm states that I will get more hearing aids and buy more flowers again this week. I do not think so.

No, I have enough ghosts as it is. I do not need the calculations of artificial intelligence to haunt me as well. 

I have therefore bought a lovely brass mechanical pencil, and a pocket planner with little squares in it where I can write down my plans, and from which I assume no ectoplasmic reminders will float. One can only hope.